Progress, Not Perfection
As the summer is beginning to come to a close, I have found myself feeling a bit lost. Questions about time - Where has it all gone? How is it autumn already? - float around in my head like the golden and red leaves that are getting ready to fall. Add in a September birthday and you can count on my brain to double down on, “Well, what’s next?”
As I was contemplating what I wanted to reflect and write about, I found myself scratching my head; asking the same question, “Well, what’s next?” I quickly found myself back to feeling lost, sitting here in silence as I wracked my brain for ideas and inspiration. I found myself in this repetitive loop of Googling, pausing, forcing, and eventually starting back at square one, doubly frustrated with myself that I had come up with nothing.
Slowly (emphasis on the slow), it dawned on me. As I often tell my clients, the work is in the process - notice it, feel it, embrace it. Naturally, I initially rejected this idea. “How is embracing this going to help me figure out what I want to write about?”
I kept pushing myself back toward the repetitive loop - Google, pause, force, frustration - over and over again, reserving little to no patience and compassion for myself.
My shoulders were up to my ears, fists and toes clenched, and a headache was starting to set in. It was only after about 45 minutes that I ACTUALLY checked in with myself, and was shocked at what I saw.
I had let myself get so activated to the point that all kindness had flown out of the window. I had chosen to put all of my focus on writing the “best!”, “smartest!”, “most well-written!” blog, that I had completely forgotten the intent behind writing - self-reflection. All of this time, I had encouraged so many to remember the most important (in my opinion) therapeutic intervention is self-awareness. I had gotten so caught up in “Well, what’s next?” that I had abandoned the beauty in the here and now and the importance of somatic cues. Of course, this felt like a massive failure to not only myself but also to my clients. What happened to practice what you preach?
Suddenly, a familiar voice popped into my head saying, “If this were a client, what would you say to them?”
This encouragement to pause, reflect, and empathize is often shared with me when I find myself stuck, uncertain, and struggling to make sense of things.
It was at this point that I truly realized what was happening - I had chosen to value perfection over the process. I was stuck in focusing on what this could have been rather than what it was. I had placed arbitrary rules and expectations that generally had none. Because I had played a role in what had gotten me to this point, I could also play a role in moving me forward from this point - whatever that needed to be.
Today, I choose to utilize this space to reflect on and share my own process over perfection. I let go of the pressure to create something so phenomenal it would be talked about for days, weeks, and months. I forewent the decision to teach or share information that may be perceived as profound or potentially provide the “aha!” moment someone may have been looking for. I am allowing myself to show up as a human being who also doesn’t always have the answers, struggles, and is far from perfect.
Be patient, be kind, just be.
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The Rooted Compassion team is made up of a group of counselors who have a variety of specialties in order to best serve our clients. We recognize that every person has his/her own personal and unique life experiences and that one modality will not work for every client. Listed below is a summary of our counselors’ specialties at Rooted Compassion:
Emotional Freedom Techniques
Grief Counseling
Somatic Focused Counseling
EMDR
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Mindfulness-Based Practices
Trauma Responsive Care Techniques
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Drama Therapy/Expressive Arts
If you are interested in learning more about what Rooted Compassion is all about, please contact us today, look through our website, or find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Rooted Compassion Counseling is Ohio’s leading practice for trauma therapy through the lens of the nervous system. Our focus is to walk alongside clients as they heal from depression, anxiety, trauma, grief and/or loss. If you or someone you know are seeking to explore and build an inner sense of calm and safety, please contact us today. We would love to help you to find a counselor and counseling techniques that will guide you on your mental health journey to healing.
