Simplifying the Polyvagal Theory, Part 2: Monitoring, Identifying and Regulating your Emotional States Will Lead to Better Mental Health
Welcome to the second blog in a series discussing the Polyvagal Theory (PVT).
Let’s review a few ideas about the Polyvagal Theory.
The Polyvagal Theory helps us understand more deeply how our nervous system drives our “states.” We refer to states as a position we find ourselves in as we relate to the world. The easiest, most familiar way to consider this is to look at the flee, fight or freeze reaction. The PVT tells us there is a fourth “F” to add – flock. I use the word flock to indicate connection to others. We recognize the three states as:
Social engagement/ventral (ventral is the branch of the vagus nerve that primarily facilitates this state)– flock or connection to others, self and the world
Mobilization/sympathetic (sympathetic is the part of the nervous system that primarily facilitates this state – flee or fight is usually experienced here
Immobilization/dorsal/shutdown(dorsal is the branch of the vagus nerve that primarily facilitates this state) – freeze is usually experienced here
In my previous blog, How Being in Touch with Your Nervous System Changes Everything, I described the story of teaching the day my mom died. On that day, I worked really hard to stay out of my freeze/shutdown/dorsal state by setting boundaries and asking for what I needed. It was challenging.
I highlighted what helped me stay in a state of safe connection with the class – positive tones of voice, facial expressions of confidence and not sympathy, and safe physical distance, just to name a few.
We move through these states all day every day to differing extents. I might wake and feel socially connected to my family by sharing breakfast or my dog throwing the ball for him. When I start work, I may fall into some level of flee or fight, maybe some anxiety when I see a long list of emails I need to tend to. And if one of those emails has bad news, I might sink into a shutdown. What if, following that, a team member comes into the office and we are able to talk and connect? That would likely ease the shutdown effect and help me move back into feeling connected and emotionally safe.
I’ll share a story to illustrate this movement through these states.
Several years ago, I was in a book study with colleagues I really respect. At the end of the meeting, I was talking to one of them about a modality we both use for some therapy. I made a statement about that and my colleague responded, with “Well, that’s not the way it’s done.” I immediately sank into a shutdown state. I was sure she was right and I was wrong and I felt embarrassment and shame as other colleagues heard this exchange. As quickly as I could, I rushed to my office and shut the door. I fled the scene.
Once I got to my office I sat down and began intentional breathing, which helped me feel a little more regulated. As I became more regulated, I was able to shift a little out of that feeling of embarrassment and think through what had just happened. I realize that in the situation we were discussing, there wasn’t necessarily a 100% right or 100% wrong answer and that it was possible we could both use this modality in different effective ways.
Shortly after that, a different colleague came into my office to catch up about how our weekends were and in that 10-minute experience, I went from feeling safe and connected to some level of both shutdown and mobilization. Then, I used my own skills and knowledge of the Polyvagal Theory to help me regulate, finally moving me back up into safety and connected when my colleague came into my office.
I knew I was in these different states by the cues that my body gave me.
During the book study my breathing was slow, I felt relaxed, and could easily share eye contact and ideas with my colleagues. When I thought I had said something wrong, my heart started beating faster and I felt warm and small. After using some intentional breathing, I was able to help myself feel more regulated and having connection with my officemate moved me back into feeling socially connected and relaxed.
I encourage you to begin to monitor what your body is telling you. By monitoring your body, you will be able to recognize how you emotionally feel so that you can identify what people, places, things or activities help you move towards social connection.
In my next blog I’ll dive more into these ideas. I hope to see you there.
Amy is the founder and CEO of Rooted Compassion Counseling and Consulting. She is a therapist, trainer, and consultant. She is an expert in the Polyvagal Theory and specializes in trauma, EMDR, Somatic Focused Counseling, and several other modalities. She also serves as a facilitator of SoulCollage and Writing Circles.
The Rooted Compassion team is made up of a group of counselors who have a variety of specialties in order to best serve our clients. We recognize that every person has his/her own personal and unique life experiences and that one modality will not work for every client. Listed below is a summary of our counselors’ specialties at Rooted Compassion:
Emotional Freedom Techniques
Grief Counseling
Somatic Focused Counseling
EMDR
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Mindfulness-Based Practices
Trauma Responsive Care Techniques
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Motivational Interviewing
If you are interested in learning more about what Rooted Compassion is all about, please contact us today, look through our website, or find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Rooted Compassion Counseling is Ohio’s leading practice for trauma therapy through the lens of the nervous system. Our focus is to walk alongside clients as they heal from depression, anxiety, trauma, grief and/or loss. If you or someone you know are seeking to explore and build an inner sense of calm and safety, please contact us today. We would love to help you to find a counselor and counseling techniques that will guide you on your mental health journey to healing.
