Rethinking Distraction from a DBT Lens

When you think about distraction, what often comes to mind? It could be shopping, scrolling through social media, playing video games or even binge watching or rewatching your favorite Netflix series. Most of those tend to be external sources of distraction, however, there are times where we get distracted by what is going on within us. For example, these could be those random thoughts, doubts, worries, or fears that creep into our consciousness or even physical pain that is distracting us from the object of our attention. 

I would venture to guess that many of us have been bombarded with messages that distraction is a very bad thing, that pulls us in all sorts of different directions especially away from the thing we know we should be doing. All in the service of achieving laser focus and present mindedness. 

Before learning about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) my answer might have been much like the position handed to us by society. However, simply staying at one end of the extreme of this position regarding distraction wouldn’t be very dialectical. That is, for those of you who haven’t read my last post on dialectical thinking is the awareness that there is always more than one way to look at a situation and that opposing points of view can be true at the same time. In the case of distraction, it is acknowledging that distraction can be both helpful and unhelpful. After all, anything that's done to an extreme degree is eventually going to tax your resources whether it's money, health, energy, time, morale, or self-esteem. 

What’s different about distraction from a DBT lens?

• It’s Deliberate

• It’s Short-term

It’s choosing to do something else instead of doing the thing your emotions are telling you to do when you’re upset or overwhelmed. Because acting on your emotions or urges when you’re highly activated usually only backfires. Additionally, by focusing on something different from the emotionally provoking situation or event we are ever so slightly shifting our experience of that emotion or physical state towards something less unbearable.

There are times when our nervous system is so dysregulated that rational thought is simply not possible because the connection between the part of the brain that oversees rational thought and behavioral control goes offline in service of helping you survive the threat in front of you. If you would like to learn more about this, I refer you to Dan Siegal’s Hand Model of the Brain for a fuller explanation of this phenomenon. 

Moreover, a high level of dysregulation can mean not fully experiencing your emotions is the most adaptive and effective thing you can do in the moment. The DBT skill of distraction helps you focus your attention elsewhere until you have regained enough control to utilize other skills and ride out maladaptive or destructive thoughts or urges.
Today, we are going to look at some ways to utilize distraction in ways that help us gain better control over our nervous system so that we can get back to a state of mind that allows us to act within our values and from the social engagement system.

Distraction can be used in situations where…

• Emotional pain is or threatens to become too overwhelming.

• You are having a problem that cannot be fixed immediately.

• Having urges to do something you may regret later or are against your values.

  When either our emotions are getting the best of us, or our nervous system is hijacked by hyperarousal or hypo-arousal it can be extremely easy and may even feel good to go with whatever our emotions are telling us to do. However, the problem is that acting on your emotions or urges in these moments probably works against your long-term goals or even your values – keeping stable relationships, maintaining your self-respect, and holding onto freedom from addictive behaviors.

  I would be remiss if I didn’t say that this is by no means an exhaustive list and that some of these ways to distract don’t work for everybody; it's all about experimenting and finding what works for you and circumstances. 

  
  How to get the most out of distraction techniques:

  For distraction to work, you need to first recognize when you’re feeling intense emotions or thoughts. Try to notice warning signs like feeling the need to hide, run away, isolate, or hurt yourself or others.
  It would be hard for anybody to stop themselves from feeling certain emotions or thinking certain thoughts, but I encourage you to try to be aware of when it’s happening.

  Then, once you notice it, start doing something to distract yourself even if you don’t feel like it or think it’ll help (SPOILER! you may not and you won’t think they will). Give it at least five minutes before you decide to move on to another way to distract yourself.

  Below are some ways that I’ve found to be effective ways to distract ourselves in ways that are informed by both DBT and the Polyvagal Theory.

  
  Seven Ways Different Ways to Distract

  
  Activities: Engaging in activities either preoccupy your mind with different thoughts, images, or sensations or that provide a release of nervous energy left over from the activation of the fight/flight response. Some ideas for activities to engage include:

• Do something you enjoy. Listen to your favorite song, album, or even playlist. Paying close attention to the lyrics, instruments, production value. Watch a movie or tv show and then write a review of it. Engage in a skin care routine. Go to your safe place- this could be inside or outside. Go for a drive.  

• Do something physically demanding. Pretty much any aerobic exercise can be helpful. Some people might prefer to release their emotions with explosive movements, such as boxing, circuit training, or dancing. Others might prefer going out for a walk-in nature. Others might prefer to engage in yoga, tai chi, or qigong.

• Do some work. Clean a room in your house. Declutter your refrigerator (or anything else, really). Rearrange or organize your wardrobe or drawers. Decorate or reorganize a space in your home. Organize files on your computer. 

• Do something creative. Journal. Make a playlist of songs that can help you and that you can sing at the top of your lungs. Draw or doodle. Take photos and edit them in unique ways. Put together a photo album.

  Contributing: Doing things for someone else’s well-being can refocus attention from oneself. The benefit is twofold: it can help you to forget your own problems for a short time and even provide a sense of meaning in life. Ways to contribute may include:

• Find volunteer work to do.

• Help a friend, family member, or pet.

• Surprise someone with something nice (a text or call, a favor, a hug)

• Make a homemade gift for someone else.

• Do something thoughtful.

• Have a clear out of stuff you don’t want or need anymore- perhaps donate it to charity.

  Comparison: Making comparisons is another way to refocus attention to others, but in a slightly different way. For instance, those coping in the same way, or less well, or the less fortunate in general can be used to reframe one’s own situation in a more positive light. Alternatively, you can choose to focus on problems in the past that you’ve overcome or stuck out and compare the present moment to that difficult moment in the past. Here are some ways to utilize comparisons: 

• Compare how you are feeling now to a time when you felt different.

• Watch some reality shows (My personal favorites are 90 Day Fiancé, Alone, or Ghost Adventures)

  Emotions: Generating different emotions can distract from the current situation and emotion. On the flip side, sticking with the current emotion may have the paradoxical effect of reducing that emotion. For example, listening to metal or screamo music expels ample amounts of energy produced by the stress response. Examples include:

• Read emotional books or stories.

• Watch emotional tv shows.

• Listen to emotional music.

• Ideas: Scary movies, joke books, comedies, religious music, soothing music or music that fires you up.

  Pushing Away: Pushing away from a painful situation can be done by leaving it physically or by blocking it from one’s mind. Leaving the situation decreases contact with its emotional cues. Blocking is a somewhat conscious effort to inhibit thoughts, images, and urges associated with our emotions. One form of blocking is to repeatedly put off destructive behaviors for brief periods of time. It should not be the first technique tried but can be useful in an emergency. Pushing away may look like:

• Push the situation away by leaving it for a while.

• Leave the situation mentally.

• Build an imaginary wall between yourself and the situation.

• Put the pain on a shelf. Box it up and put it away for a while. 

  Thoughts: One of the best ways to distract yourself is to give your mind something else to focus on so that thoughts activated by your emotion do not continue to activate that emotion. Some ways to get your mind working are:

• Count colors in a painting or poster or out the window; count anything really.

• Repeat words to a song or poem in your mind.

• Remember past events that were fun and exciting and try to recall as many details about those memories as you can.

• Rank things (top 10 movies, best cuisines, top 5 musical artists, etc.).

• Play a challenging game on your phone.

• Try to come up with the name of an animal or city that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
  

  Sensations: Intense, different sensations can help you focus attention on something other than the emotional distress, its source, or crisis urges. When we are feeling too much or not enough it can be helpful to connect ourselves with our body, mind, or environment. Our senses are how we connect to the world at large. By utilizing our senses, we can rivet ourselves to the present. Other ideas for eliciting sensations are broken down by the various senses:

• Taste: Tasting tabasco sauce, lemon wedges, and intensely sour candy.

• Touch: Holding ice cubes in your hand or mouth. Take a hot or cold shower. Gently pet your animal. Apply lotion with firm, deep pressure. Fidget with items or tap hands or feet.

• Hear: Putting on headphones and listening to fast, upbeat music. 

• Smell: Trial different smells like essential oils, candles. Trial different intensities of smells.

• See: Create an “eye-bleach” folder of pleasant, funny, cute, or relaxing. Focus on and describe an object, taking note of its features. 

• Movement: Stretch or shake your body parts. Put your hands on the wall or ground and try to push it away as hard as you can. Roll your neck and head slowly.

  
  References

  Linehan, M. (2015). Distracting- Distress Tolerance Module. In DBT skills training handouts and worksheets (pp. 333–334). essay, The Guilford Press. 

  
  Hand model of the brain. Dr. Dan Siegel. (2020, October 16). https://drdansiegel.com/hand-model-of-the-brain/