Cincinnati Therapist Explores How to Understand Children’s Challenging Behaviors with Insights from Dan Siegel and Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory
Deciphering your child's behavior may seem like navigating a complex puzzle. At Rooted Compassion, we explore the wisdom of experts like Dan Siegel and Stephen Porges to unravel the intricate world within the children and adolescents we care for.
Dan Siegel introduces the concept of "top-down" thinking, unfolding in the "upstairs" brain, or the cerebral cortex.
This cognitive powerhouse, responsible for intentional control, learning, reflection, planning, and pursuing long-term goals, undergoes a gradual developmental journey.
While most children start to acquire "effortful control" around three and a half to four years old, this maturation process extends into early adulthood, until around age 25.
In tandem, Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory enriches our comprehension by highlighting the autonomic nervous system's role in shaping behaviors. The theory identifies three response states, with the social engagement system being the optimal state for learning and intentional control.
Understanding the interplay between the autonomic nervous system and cognitive processes provides a more holistic view of behavior dynamics.
Our brains house a survival-oriented aspect known as the "downstairs" brain. Before mastering intentional top-down thinking, we rely solely on "bottom-up" behaviors — automatic, subconscious responses that are not intentional but rather reflexive, guided by our instinctive need for self-protection. This primal part of our brain operates without conscious thought and responds to perceived safety or threat. Polyvagal Theory deepens our understanding by highlighting how the autonomic nervous system dynamically influences our physiological state, impacting our capacity to engage socially or enter survival states, such as fight, flight, or freeze. This insight enhances our grasp of the intricate interplay between our cognitive and physiological processes, offering a clearer perspective on the complex relationship between mind and body.
Crucially, traumatic experiences can disrupt and hijack the developmental journey of effortful control and top-down thinking. The aftermath of trauma may impede the natural progression of these cognitive skills, leading to delays or deviations in children.
This is where nurturing relationships emerge as agents of healing and restoration. They play a pivotal role in mitigating the impact of trauma, actively supporting brain growth within the cerebral cortex.
Through the consistent and empathetic presence of nurturing relationships, individuals can find solace and stability, creating an environment conducive to the restoration of effortful control and the development of resilient top-down thinking skills.
When addressing challenging behaviors in a child or adolescent, a key question emerges: Is the behavior a result of intentional top-down thinking, or does it arise from developmental challenges and instinctual, bottom-up responses to perceived threats? This question significantly influences how we, as caregivers, respond.
Acknowledging that challenging behavior in children and teens is frequently linked to dysregulation and bottom-up reflexes empowers us to approach these situations with empathy and compassion.
This awareness allows us to regulate our own nervous systems during these conversations, fostering an environment of felt safety where children feel secure to explore, learn, and grow in their behavior.
To navigate this puzzle in therapy, we consider two perspectives:
Understanding Social-Emotional Development: Delving into your child or teen's social-emotional development helps us to understand where they are in regard to intentional control and emotional regulation. We assess strengths in developed skills and identify areas where developmental building blocks may be missing.
Reading Cues in the Moment: Conceptualizing your child or teen's autonomic nervous system, we keenly observe cues in real-time and teach you what to look for too. This helps us decode the underlying motives behind their behavior through non-verbal signals, empowering families with the knowledge to discern reflexive, bottom-up behaviors more clearly.
As clinicians, we can embrace a dual approach, examining children and teens' behaviors from both the body up and the brain down. This holistic understanding guides our intervention strategies, tailored to each client's unique needs. Sometimes, the focus is on nurturing top-down thinking, while in other cases, support from the bottom-up is paramount. Occasionally, a harmonious blend of both proves most effective. By first comprehending our client's autonomic pathways, we can select the right approach for a given situation, significantly enhancing our ability to support children and teens facing behavioral challenges or navigating vulnerable nervous systems.
As you embark on this journey of understanding your child or adolescent's behavior, remember that the path to deciphering the complexities is a gradual and evolving process.
Simple practices, such as actively listening, spending quality time together, and incorporating moments of play and creativity, can provide insights into your child or adolescent's world.
Additionally, remain patient with yourself and your child as you navigate these insights. Each small step you take toward understanding and supporting your child or adolescent's unique developmental needs contributes to the creation of a resilient and connected family dynamic. In the midst of the puzzle, the simplicity of genuine connection often holds the key.
Photo Credit: Marisa Howenstine @marisahowenstine
References:
Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2016). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing Mind. Langara College.
Delahooke, M. (2023). Beyond behaviors: Using brain science and compassion to understand and solve children’s behavioral challenges. Langara College.
Sanders, M. R., Thompson, G. S., & Porges, S. W. (2022). Polyvagal theory and the developing child systems of care for strengthening kids, families, and Communities. W.W. Norton & Company.
The Rooted Compassion team is made up of a group of counselors who have a variety of specialties in order to best serve our clients. We recognize that every person has his/her own personal and unique life experiences and that one modality will not work for every client. Listed below is a summary of our counselors’ specialties at Rooted Compassion:
Polyvagal Theory/Nervous System Focused Therapy
Trauma Responsive Care Techniques
Grief Counseling
Somatic Focused Counseling
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, EMDR
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Mindfulness-Based Practices
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Drama Therapy/Expressive Arts
If you are interested in learning more about what Rooted Compassion is all about, please contact us today, look through our website, or find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Rooted Compassion Counseling is Ohio’s leading practice for trauma therapy through the lens of the nervous system. Our focus is to walk alongside clients as they heal from depression, anxiety, trauma, grief and/or loss. If you or someone you know are seeking to explore and build an inner sense of calm and safety, please contact us today. We would love to help you to find a counselor and counseling techniques that will guide you on your mental health journey to healing.
