Cincinnati Therapist Discusses Our Journey Through Childhood Wounds and Core Beliefs

Imagine your true self as a beautiful gem, hidden beneath layers of dust and debris. This gem isn’t lost—far from it. It’s simply waiting to be uncovered, shielded by the experiences and beliefs you’ve gathered over time.

Artist and writer, Emily McDowell, captures this beautifully: “Finding yourself is not really how it works. You aren't a ten dollar bill in last year's winter's coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people's opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that become your beliefs about who you are. 'Finding yourself' is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.”

As children, we absorb experience like sponges. These early moments, whether positive or negative, leave deep emotional imprints. Repeated messages or moments of emotional neglect can lead to beliefs that you’re not worthy of love or success. These invisible wounds can shape our inner landscape, affecting our self-view and the stories we tell ourselves.

Core beliefs—deeply held convictions about our worth and abilities—guide our lives. If you were told you weren’t good enough as a child, you might struggle with self-doubt as an adult, even if your achievements say otherwise. These early beliefs, rooted in our formative years, often distort our true essence.

Rediscovering your true self is a process of compassionate excavation. It’s not about adding something new but peeling away layers that have accumulated over time. It involves revisiting early experiences with curiosity and kindness. What beliefs did you form as a child? How have these beliefs shaped your current self?

Unlearning these old stories requires patience and self-compassion. It’s about recognizing that the pain you’ve carried isn’t a reflection of your worth but a part of your journey. By gently questioning and dismantling these beliefs, you make space to reconnect with the essence of who you are.

Deb Dana reminds us, “Safety is the foundation of our sense of self. When we feel safe, we can connect, engage, and be our true selves. When safety is compromised, our sense of self is often obscured by our nervous system’s defense responses.” At Rooted Compassion, we know creating a safe environment is essential for this exploration. When we feel secure, we can approach the process of self-discovery with greater openness, self-compassion, and warmth.

Embrace this process of rediscovering your true self not as a loss or struggle but as a return to clarity and truth; a journey of returning to yourself, reconnecting with the person you were before the world’s expectations and self-doubts clouded your vision. Your true self has always been present, waiting for you to clear away the dust, waiting to shine.