Blog
Three Simple Steps to Care for Your Vagus Nerve and Nervous System and How Safe and Sound Protocol Can Enhance that Care
It seems society has normalized stress as an unavoidable way of life that we just must deal with. Along with this increased stress there has been a decrease in face-to-face social interaction. According to a 2021 Forbes article, Americans spend 1,300 hours per year on social media which equals a little over 3.5 hours per day. Some people feel that engaging in social media helps to lower (or avoid) the effects of stressful situations. Well, if I can’t use social media to destress, what can I use?
How the Safe and Sound Protocol Breaks Down Your Walls and Leads to More Effective Mental Health Counseling
“Garbage in, garbage out.”
We all know this saying–we have either used it ourselves or have heard others use it. Not only is this saying used in daily life, it is often used in sciences, including neuroscience.
The more time, positivity and effective methods we use to build the foundation of our mental health, the better we will feel and the more connected we will be with others.
Finding Meaning in Your Grief and How Grief Counseling Can Get You There
Spring, the season associated with new life and blossoming trees and flowers, is here. Yet, if you are grieving a loss, it may be very hard to enjoy the beauty of this fresh season.
May you offer yourself the time and space you need to grieve and heal, regardless of what others may tell you, because many misconceptions exist around grief. So, let's begin by defining some terms to assist us in navigating the nuances of this complex topic.
The Reality of Mental Health Counseling and Defining the Role of Therapist
I invite you to consider your first exposure to therapy. Was it meeting with a therapist? Seeing a therapist on TV or in a movie? Hearing about it from a friend?
There is a pretty good chance our first impressions of therapy were at least slightly inaccurate (guilty!). Therapy extends beyond common misconceptions that you must be mentally ill, a “difficult” child, or “weak” to receive services.
I’m here to say that choosing to go to therapy might be one of the hardest, and most gratifying, decisions you could ever make.
How our Safe and Sound Protocol Program Coordinator Found her Home Here at Rooted Compassion Counseling: Her Passion for Helping Others Plus a Bit of Serendipity
Do you remember the Geico commercial where the Gecko explains how he came up with the “whole 15-minute thing” then calls it Serendipity? Watching this commercial is the first time I felt I could relate to a lizard. Serendipity is an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident. I feel this describes my journey from learning about the Polyvagal Theory and the Safe and Sound Protocol to now moving into my current position.
A Reflection on Being White and Exploring my Bias
What I bring with me tonight is confusion about my upbringing. When I was a little girl, we had a maid who was black. We all adored her. In many ways I spent more time with her than I did with my own mom. Clara taught me how to iron, chased me with a wet rag she would snap on the back of my thigh when I misbehaved, and lit up every time I walked into the room. She felt like a family member to me who came on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She rode the bus across town and had a long walk from the bus stop to our house. At Christmas time we would go to her house and see her husband and daughter. We would take them all Christmas presents. As a kid I thought they were happy to see us. As an adult I wonder how true that was. I wish I knew what her true experience of us was. Clara mothered me in ways that were very important to me. I worry and wonder if I treated her with the respect she deserved.
Embracing the Nature of Yin: Supporting the Nervous System
For many, winter is the season of the year that brings with it experiences of isolation, depleted energy, or a lack of motivation. Even those who rarely find themselves outdoors can feel this inner shift toward sluggishness or a sense of being separated from the nurturing beauty easily recognized in the livelier aspects of nature. So why are winter months so tough on the psyche? We’re a part of nature, certainly. So how is it that we can we feel so frustrated and lonely when the rest of nature slows down?
How to Use Principles of Polyvagal Counseling to Determine When Your Nervous System Feels Safe
As I have been talking to people about emotional felt safety, I’ve noticed a trend. Sometimes we move into a protective safety as opposed to a connected safety. Connected emotional felt safety is when you feel settled, calm, in good relationship with others if they are near you or not. Some people refer to it as supported, relaxed, or peaceful. This all indicates that our nervous system is relaxed and not receiving any cues of danger either physically or emotionally.
Pandemics & Pranayama
“What even is a pandemic?”, I ask myself as I’m scrolling Facebook and reading about a new, novel virus that was spreading quickly across the globe and leaving many ill. As most of us know, the pandemic hit a lot of people hard. And I mean hard. We were unknowingly (and unwillingly) thrust into isolation; separated from our closest family, friends, and loved ones.
As someone who thrived off social energy, this was a huge change for me. I was left feeling lonely, isolated, and needing a way to find connection. FaceTime, Zoom, and phone calls just weren’t cutting it.
Grief Chose Me.
In grad school to earn my Master's in Counseling degree a few years ago, I recall one of my professors saying, “we often don't choose our area of expertise, it chooses us.” This thought stayed with me. Fast forward to today. I'm now a Licensed Professional Counselor, with one of my specialties being grief counseling. Grief “chose” me, and it is my honor and privilege to sit with folks in the midst of their pain over the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a beloved pet, a career, a dream, a relocation, or any other loss that is impacting their life and/or ability to function in optimal ways.
Grandma's Kitchen: Early Awareness of my Nervous System Responses
Grandma’s kitchen. This small room contained the bustle of daily activity and served as the setting for most of my experiences with my maternal grandmother. It was there where she shared life with us through her baking, cooking, and what-needs-to-get-done conversations. Grandma didn’t rest often. But when she did, we found ourselves congregating in her living room around her comfy chair, where she offered her loving support through what I can only call transformative, peace-giving foot rubs.
Train Your Nervous System to Know Peace Just as You Would Train For a Marathon
The best way to manage our emotional or nervous system reactivity is focus on what we do when we are not triggered.
In 2007 my mom passed away after a short battle with heart disease. I had so many mixed emotions about our relationship and her passing. My primary experience was a deep, deep grief. I found that walking outside was the only thing that helped alleviate that grief. Some days I walked for hours. And eventually the walking wasn’t enough, so I started running. Or maybe we would call it light jogging. I started in a pattern of jogging for a block, walking for a block, jogging for a block, walking for a block. One day I ran for one mile without stopping to walk, and it was on that day that I decided to run a half marathon with a team in training to raise money for the leukemia and lymphoma society in honor of both of my parents. I signed myself up and started their training program. In about five months I went from barely running a mile to running the full 13.2-mile half marathon.
A Look into What I Have Learned About my Nervous System and the Polyvagal Theory While Working for a Mental Health Counselor
As I watched my sweet boy climb the stairs of the bus and settle down into his seat, I realized as I waved goodbye, I was saying goodbye to a chapter of my own life. The chapter where I get to keep him all to myself day in and day out. The chapter where he is safe between the walls of our home. The chapter where I see and hear everything that influences him. We closed that chapter at 12:37pm on Monday, August 30th. As that big yellow school bus drove away, it took my beautiful baby boy with it and a piece of my heart.
Surprises Can Be Fun But Can Also Trigger Danger: How Does Your Nervous System Respond?
What has surprised you recently?
Maybe someone in your life shared some surprising news with you or a recent experience left you feeling unexpected emotions.
Maybe life threw you a curveball and you are left in a state of shock.
Maybe a stranger decided to pay for your coffee this morning and you walked away feeling delightfully surprised.
As we know, life is full of surprises (no surprise there, right?). We walk through our days not quite knowing what is waiting for us around the corner, but often thinking we do.
Polyvagal Theory, Session 6
As human beings, we are biologically inclined to assess for danger and to seek safety, both physically and emotionally. Dr. Stephen Porges’ research and study around the Polyvagal Theory and the vagus nerve supports that people are seeking that felt safety. One way we can do that is by paying attention to the tone of voice we use with others and with ourselves. Amy suggests that we take a look and notice our tone and then try to soften it when we are interacting with others and in our own minds. She offers two tips to soften your tone:
1. Sit down when you are having a difficult conversation.
2. Breathe. Allow your exhale to be longer than your inhale to bring your heart rate down before diving into a conversation.
Polyvagal Theory, Session 5
As social distancing mandates continued, Amy talks about her experience walking with a mask and sunglasses. She noticed that as she walked by people, they could not see her eyes or mouth, which prevented social connection. As she has discussed, Dr. Porges’ research shows that the vagus nerve directly connects with the facial nerves around the eyes allowing the eyes to show the true intention of the interaction. We use our eyes to signal and create felt safety for ourselves and for others. Amy’s advice, while treading these unknown waters of social distancing, is to continue to make eye contact with others, smile, and use a pleasant tone of voice to create felt safety between you and those around you.
Polyvagal Theory, Session 4
The Polyvagal Theory talks all about the vagus nerve. This nerve leaves the brain stem and goes to the torso and also branches up into the head where it affects hearing, speaking, and eye expressions. As we learn to apply the Polyvagal Theory and take notice to our nervous system reactions in our daily lives, Amy focuses on the vagus nerve and social connection. Amy provides two social connection tips:
1. Make time for face-to-face connection with someone every single day. Make sure you are looking the other person in the eye and try to eliminate any other distractions so you can be present and be thankful for the interaction.
2. PLAY! Don’t forget to make time for play. Do something that you love and that brings you joy.
Polyvagal Theory, Session 3
Mental health counselor and therapist, Amy Stenger-Sullivan speaks more on the Polyvagal Theory and how we can use the teachings within this theory to help us through uncertain times. Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory dives into the science behind our human instinct of survival, both physically and emotionally. Amy discusses Dr. Porges’ four survival responses as flock, flee, fight, and freeze. As one of ten children, Amy had to discover ways to connect with her older siblings, which led her to discover her humor. She found that she could use humor to connect (and emotionally survive) with her older siblings and soon started using humor as her survival mechanism. When thinking about your own wellness, Amy challenges you to ask yourself, “What are my survival mechanisms? How do I use them? Is it helpful or hurtful to me?”
Polyvagal Theory, Session 2
Our connection and attachment to others is key to our survival, which proved difficult as the pandemic roared on. Dr. Stephen Porges, founder of the Polyvagal Theory, states that our main function as human beings is to survive (both physically and emotionally) and our survival is dependent on our connection to others. Amy Stenger-Sullivan has been studying the Polyvagal Theory for nearly ten years and now applies it in her therapy sessions when walking alongside her clients dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, and grief. Amy first started her study of the Polyvagal Theory as an infant massage therapist. She talks through the effects of the pandemic on our physical, emotional, financial and mental health and how maintaining connection with those around us, in a safe way, will be crucial in our ability to thrive.
Polyvagal Theory, Session 1
As a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Amy Stenger-Sullivan recognizes the dangers of the pandemic have brought on new and real feelings of vulnerability and insecurity for many of people. Through her in-depth study of the Polyvagal Theory, Amy talks about the function of the vagus nerve and how it directly relates to feelings of being unsafe leading to anxiety, depression, etc. She provides practical ways to stimulate your vagus nerve to lower your heart rate and your anxiety in hopes of reaching the feeling of felt safety.